She will be loved
Wednesday, Feb. 26, 2003
a trick
This was a trick that I used to do several years ago when I was feeling suicidal. I reasoned with myself, if I'm going to kill myself, why not go crazy first? Tell people off. Dress like a Japanese teenager. Punk out your hair. Act on every impulse. Kiss every attractive person you see. Scrap every penny you can together, spend it all on an exotic vacation or something totally extravagant. Who cares about the consequences? You'll be dead. Who cares about societal norms and others' opinions of you? Why not go out with a bang?So I always asked myself that, but I could never do any of those things, those hidden desires. I still cared too much about what people thought about me. And in my opinion, caring about what they thought meant that I still cared about my life. It was still worth living.
Twisted logic, maybe, but it worked.
Watching/Hearing/Listening to: Bon Jovi - Bed of Roses
Drinking: diet dr. pepper
Wearing: