She will be loved
Wednesday, Aug. 07, 2002
I hate money, it's all I want
I didn't hear anything about the job today, I'm feeling very pessimistic. The past couple of days, I've been staying up all night and sleeping all day. That seems to be a good thing, at least I'm not staring at the phone all day, waiting for the call. I'd probably be a much more jumpy anxiety-ridden person if I were. I don't think that I'm going to get it, a thanks but no thanks letter is probably on it's way to me right now.My lease is up in October and I have to let them know whether I will renew it or not by August 16. I had really hoped to know what my financial future would be before that point. I'm pretty sure that I'll renew it, I can't imagine moving all the crap that I've accumulated in the past 2 years. I'm generally happy with this place. The kitchen and bathroom are way too small, I wouldn't mind a closet or two, and I really hate my bathtub now that Beavis has taken to peeing underneath it. But it's home, it's comfortable and I like the way I have things set up. It's a large studio with two big rooms and three small ones. Studios are generally one room, but this is considered one because it doesn't have a bedroom. I use the dining room for my bedroom, that's not a problem. The largest room is my living room/media room/office, then the next largest is my bedroom/dining room/library, the small (very small) rooms are the kitchen, coat room, and dressing room. I love this place, I don't want to leave it.
If I renew my lease, my rent goes up from $595 to $615. That's not too bad of a jump, last year the increase was $40. But that's a lot to pay without any money coming in. I'm hoping to have a job by October, but I can't be sure. And how can I be sure what it will pay? The general rule in determining how much rent you can afford is that it be no more than one-third of your take home pay. So that means my net income would have to be $1845 a month, $22,140 a year. So my gross income would need to be $33,210, at least. I can't be certain that it will be. In this economy, I can't be choosy, I have to take what I can get. I'd like to think that I'm worth more than that, but I'm not the one who decides how much I'm worth. Damn, damn, damn, I didn't want to have to think about this stuff. It's so fucking depressing.
I hope I find out about the job tomorrow, I can't take this anymore.
Watching/Hearing/Listening to: Fiona Apple/Tidal/Carrion
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