She will be loved
Tuesday, Oct. 29, 2002
overcast
It's been rainy and overcast for a few days now and it's really making me down. Or course it could be other stuff, but I prefer to blame the weather.My feelings about my crush have been so up and down. Usually I get pleasure from the emotional roller coaster of crushes, but this is getting painful. I'm sick of leaving work everyday either elated from some small thing or wanting to throw myself in front of a train because I'm so unlovable.
I'm feeling very angry at him for doing this to me, even though he has no idea that he's doing anything. I'm angry at myself, I guess.
Why do I have to take everything so seriously? I feel like the outcome of my friendship with him is the whole basis of my self-worth.
Watching/Hearing/Listening to: two of my teammates talking about babies
Drinking:
Wearing: