She will be loved
Saturday, Aug. 27, 2005
Gas, grass, or ass - no one rides for free
I had a good time today. I enjoyed spending time with him and getting to know him better. He's an interesting guy and much more talkative than I expected him to be. I don't know what he thinks of me, though. I hope he sees me as someone he'd like to spend more time with, but I just don't know.We talked about work, neighbors, our apartment complex, living with roommates in the past, music, and my driving (which really sucked today). We got lost on the way to Ikea, first we missed our exit and then when we got back to the exit, I made a left instead of a right and we got lost again. I don't think he blamed me for that, at least he better not have because we both had the directions and neither of us were paying enough attention. And it was raining off and on, sometimes very heavily, so that didn't make navigation any easier.
We wandered around the store for awhile. He bought a dresser and I bought a small dresser-like thing that I plan to use for shoes. He wanted a wine rack, because he likes to visit wineries and has a bunch of bottles to store, but they were sold out of the one he liked. I also got some sheets and a couple of vinyl storage boxes (he got one, too). Mostly we just wandered around and then went home.
Although he thanked me for taking him there and driving (and he paid the tolls), he didn't say anything like "I owe you one," which I had been hoping for, because then I planned to say that he should take me out to dinner or drinks or something. We better spend more time together, but I think I want to wait for him to initiate it. But if I wait for that, it may never happen.
I worked hard to hide from him that I have any interest in being more than his friend, so I'm not worried that I scared him off or anything. I just don't know if he had any fun with me. Like I said, he talked a lot; at times it was hard to get a word in edgewise. When I talked I didn't get the feeling that he was very interested in what I had to say, which made me even more self-conscious about what I was saying.
I think I looked pretty cute, or as cute as I'm capable of looking. I wore khaki shorts that I think make my legs look good and a lemon yellow t-shirt that, in my opinion, shows enough of upper arms to display my muscles, but not so much that the loose skin near my armpits shows. I tried to stand on my toes and reach for high things as much as possible, to highlight my muscular calves, I hope he noticed them. He wore khaki shorts and a blue t-shirt. His face was stubbly, which although it didn't look bad, it disappointed me a bit that he didn't feel the need to shave this morning. I guess that's silly, though.
I thought we'd laugh a lot more, because I know I have a good sense of humor and it seems like he does too, or at least his profile seemed that way. But I don't know if he caught my jokes and he didn't make too many of his own. So I don't know if he had any fun with me, which is what I really wanted.
I don't know, it seems very up in the air. Because I've desired him for so long, it seems very anti-climatic to me. I hope we continue to email and now don't go back to our previous practice of just saying hi, but nothing more. I'll have to wait and see, I guess. I'm don't think I'll email him until Monday, I want to see if he contacts me first.
Oh yeah, I know he's home tonight, because his light is on. That's good. And he wasn't on a date last night; thankfully, he just went to a happy hour with his friends.
Watching/Hearing/Listening to: a plastic surgery show on Discovery Health Channel
Drinking: diet pepsi lime
Wearing: khaki shorts, purple tank, white socks