She will be loved
Saturday, Apr. 30, 2005
me again
Procrastination is so easy. When I go so long without writing anything, I start feeling that when I do write something, it should be thoughtful and interesting. That felt like pressure, so it was easy to keep pushing it off until tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day...A lot has been going on in my life, I�ve been moving forward in ways I hadn�t thought possible. I got promoted to manager of my team at work about 5 weeks ago. The promotion came out of nowhere but I�m honored they had faith in me and I�m working hard to prove myself. But then there�s that pressure thing. And it�s weird because all four of the people I manage are older than me, we all get along well, though, and I think they respect me.
Weight loss has also been going very well. I�ve finally hit one-derland, I�m about 195 right now. It�s so amazing because I haven�t weighed this little since my freshman year of high school. My body doesn�t look like it�s changed very much, but I can fit into a size 16, although a bit tightly. I�ve been working out hard: 2-3 miles of Leslie Sansone every weekday morning, weeknights I alternate pilates one night and upper body and yoga the other night, on Saturdays exercise is optional (although more often than not I do at something), and Sundays are either cardio or one of my weeknight workouts. I�ve been doing Weight Watchers at work and I�m loving it so far. But I�m still taking the Adderall, so even though I�m working out and eating well, I still feel a lot of guilt that I�m cheating (and part of that guilt is also what has kept me from writing here). It�s like I have an unfair advantage. It�s not a wonder pill or anything, I�ve been losing about 2 pounds a week, which is healthy. I still have a lot of worries about what will happen when I stop taking the pill, whether the weight will fly back on, but I try to push those worries down. I just want to feel what it�s like to be a normal weight, even if it only lasts awhile.
I have more to say, a few other things going on, but I�m pretty tired and I need to wake up early, so I�ll save it for next time. Hopefully next time will be tomorrow. I need to wipe some of this nagging guilt away.
Watching/Hearing/Listening to:
Drinking:
Wearing: