She will be loved
Thursday, Feb. 24, 2005
buzzkill
This is a bit of an experiment. I wrote this entry on Thursday, but I'm posting it now on Saturday. I changed the date and time on top, so hopefully it will stay with the Thursday date.Here's the entry:
Writing at work again�
Ugh, last night was a total buzzkill. I saw my therapist and discussed my concerns with what I had read online about adderall and he agreed that I should be concerned. He also brought up another point that based on my family and personal history of addiction, that this might not be the best thing for me to be on, being that the medication is an amphetamine and highly addictive. He wasn�t totally against it, but he told me it was a lot for me to consider.
I thought about it last night and I�ve decided to stop. I just called my psychiatrist and left a message telling him that I had talked it over with my therapist and that I�ve decided to stop. I asked if I should just stop completely, since I�ve been taking it less than a week, or if I should wean myself off by cutting down 10 mg a week or every couple of days. So now I just have to wait for a call back.
I made an appointment on Tuesday to see my regular doctor next Wednesday to discuss the possible interactions with my other medications (my therapist told me it was excellent that I thought to do this). I think I�ll still see him, even though I�ve decided to stop the medication. I�d still like his opinion on it, and also his opinion about weight loss medication in general. I�m thinking maybe, if he agrees, I should try Meridia. I really don�t know much about Meridia, so I�ll do some online research before the appointment. Maybe I won�t even want to do that. We�ll see.
When I weighed myself this morning, it was 213. So the medication isn�t really having that great of an effect on me. I mean, really, any more than 2 pounds a week would probably be unhealthy anyway. But then again, at 2 pounds a week, I could be at 195 by the end of April, 175 by the beginning of July, and reach my goal of 160 by September when I go to my sister�s friend�s wedding in Mexico. I can�t imagine how fabulous that would be. But I guess considering the potential risks, if this isn�t going to be a wonder drug for me, I shouldn�t be on it.
It still sucks though; I wanted a miracle in a bottle. I wanted to be sexy at that wedding. I wanted to see shock on people�s faces. I wanted to look normal.
Watching/Hearing/Listening to:
Drinking:
Wearing: