She will be loved
Monday, May. 17, 2004
weigh in, sigh
So I woke up yesterday and weighed myself, 223.5. Oh hell no, I said, no way I'm recording that. I ate so well the past week, had a good workout schedule, no way am I recording a 3 pound gain!So I thought, well I just need to poop (this entry may be filled with too much information), that'll knock me back down. I took a couple of fiber pills, nothing, so I went back to sleep. When I woke up, I took a few more pills. Out came a little, 1 pound loss. I knew I had more than that in me.
Sugar free chocolate to the rescue, that's always a surefire way to clear the bowels. So I ate 4 SF mini Hershey bars. Well, it did work, it kicked another pound out of me.
Final weight: 221.5
Great, I gave myself a new eating disorder just to avoid entering a gain. How fucked up is that? This is a journey to health. That is not healthy, not a bit.
I can't do that again, my weight is what it is. If it's up one week, so be it. Just because it's higher one day doesn't mean that my healthy changes aren't working. It doesn't mean that I'm not getting closer to my goals. It doesn't mean that I should give up.
After that, I spent most of yesterday eating. (Wait, you're supposed to binge THEN purge, I was doing it in reverse!) Not bad stuff, just a ton of the good stuff. What weight did I wake up to today? 219.5!
There's just no predicting it!
Watching/Hearing/Listening to: Leno - Rodney Dangerfield
Drinking: twist
Wearing: dark gray exercise pants, dark gray tank, dark green socks