She will be loved
Friday, Mar. 19, 2004
Huckie, again
Yesterday turned out to be a pretty bad day for me. After I wrote my last entry, I sat on the living room floor to cut my nails before leaving for work and I noticed Huckie squatting over a plastic grocery bag near the couch. I put my hand out to him and he groaned. I noticed him straining and then sitting down and licking his genitals. I knew what that meant, blocked bladder again. I had a 10 AM meeting that I couldn't miss, so I decided that I would come back home as soon as the meeting was done and if he still seemed to be in pain, I would take him to the vet.I told my manager what was going on and he was understanding (as I would hope the father of my child would be) and said I could do whatever I wanted, skip the meeting, take the day off, whatever I needed. I needed to be at the meeting, but I told him I'd like to leave afterward and that I'd let him know after I got home whether I'd be back in or not.
When I got home, Huck was worse. I called the vet and they told me to bring him right in. After the vet checked him out, she said they'd have to repeat the procedure they'd done in January to unblock his bladder. (I don't totally understand it, but it involves putting a catheter up his penis and doing something to flush out the blockage) I felt extremely selfish to ask about the cost, but I did and she said to expect another $600-700.
When she took him away, I broke down, because my heart was breaking for my baby but also because my money problems never seem to end. Things keep happening to push me deeper and deeper into debt.
I decided to go back to work. I thought if I stayed home my sadness would be unbearable.
I had to call my mom from work to ask her to loan me the money for the procedure. She didn't give me too hard of a time, but I was surprised at how reluctant she was. She has plenty of money, and she knows how important my cats are, I can't understand why she hesitated.
And then she said the most hurtful thing I could imagine, that if this happens another time I'm going to have to put him to sleep. I would never think such a thing. He's worth every penny I have, every penny I can get. There is no being that I have ever loved or has ever loved me like Huckie. It's pathetic, I know, but he makes all the difference in my life. Beavis, too, but Huckie is just so special. When my life has seemed hopeless and I've wanted to end it, the thought of my boys has kept me going. They really are all I have. Man, I'm a loser.
I understand her point, I know that I can't keep spending close to a grand every other month, and it's not right to put Huck through this pain repeatedly either. It's just not what I needed to hear at that moment, when I was already hurting so much. I started sobbing at that and I'm sure everyone around me in the cube farm who didn't have their headphones on heard me, but I didn't care.
But she did agree to lend me the money and Huckie came home tonight and he's doing fine, see...
That looks like a healthy boy to me!
I thought he would be mad at me, especially since the vet and technicians said he�d been pretty angry with them, which is very unlike the Huck. He even ripped his catheter out of his penis last night. Ow! But he�s back to being my sweet baby, loving my every touch.
The vet gave me some special food that she hopes will make a difference. I�ve been feeding them urinary tract health dry food since Huck�s last incident, but maybe this will be better. More expensive, of course. She also said to mix water with their dry food to make it wet food. I know Beavis has had this problem before, too, now that I know what the symptoms are, but he�s always been able to pass the blockage on his own. I�m sure the reason for that is that he drinks like a fish and pisses like a racehorse. So I�m going to do whatever I can to get more fluid in Huck�s system. I did the water over dry food thing tonight and they loved it. Now it�s like cereal in milk for them.
This is a common problem for male cats. Crystals build up in their bladder and their urethra is just too narrow to pass them. The vet said that when this happens a third time, they do a different procedure, they basically give them a sex change. They remove the penis and surgically widen the urethra and give them a vagina. Of course, when I told my mom this, she asked how much it would cost. But if he does have this problem again, I won�t hesitate to do that. I could never put him to sleep, especially when other than this, he�s perfectly healthy.
He�s my angel and I refuse to lose him.
Just so Beavis doesn�t get jealous, here�s I picture I took of him tonight, too�
Shoop: "Get off of my clothes right now, mister!"
Beavis: "Whatever, I do what I want. Get your finger outta my face or I�m gonna eat it like a sausage."
(that first sentence is an reference to South Park, I believe if Beavie could talk, he�d sound like Cartman)
All right, back to my regularly scheduled thoughts, time to get ready to exercise.
Watching/Hearing/Listening to: NBC news
Drinking: nothing
Wearing: dark gray exercise pants, white bra, white socks