She will be loved
Saturday, Mar. 13, 2004
I guess kitty love will have to do.
Damn it, I did it again! I went to the grocery store in hopes of seeing the nice cashier. And of course he wasn't working!I was feeling good after I exercised and the mirror was being nice to me, so I figured, what the hell, maybe he'll be there. I got my pathetic ass in the car, blaring Peter Gabriel and hoping.
All's I want is to go through his line, see if he's as flirty as he was the last time, and then have the receipt with his name on it. It's really hard to fantasize about someone without knowing their name.
I guess it's because I've been reading diaries all day, diaries of women struggling with weight loss. But along with their struggles, they all have husbands or boyfriends loving them. It made me feel really lonely. But also hopeful, like maybe I could meet someone who wouldn't mind my stomach.
I need to work on my confidence first, I know that. There's just too much work that needs to be done! I have too far to go. Physically, mentally, emotionally, psychologically, every -lly.
Huckie's snuggled up in my lap right now, giving me love. I guess kitty love will have to do.
My brain feels foggy and I can't articulate my thoughts. What else is new?
Watching/Hearing/Listening to: SNL - Ben Affleck
Drinking: twist
Wearing: pink pajama bottoms and white XTC tee