She will be loved
Sunday, Oct. 31, 2004
Weigh-in and other problems
Happy Halloween! I don't think I'll get any trick or treaters, but I bought some candy just in case. I bought Sweet Tarts because I don't like them, so I knew I wouldn't have to deal with temptation. I'll just give them all to one of my coworkers tomorrow.217, getting better. There was actually one point today when it said 216.5, but I'm feeling a bit superstitious and I don't want to record that. 217 was what it said when I woke up so that's what I'm going with.
So close to 215 I can taste it! If I'm good it could happen in another week or two. C'mon body, you can do it!
Other body stuff...
My menstrual cycle is really wacked out right now. This month and last month I've had mini-periods halfway through my cycle. (Beware, too much information coming) It hasn't been enough to need a pad, but enough to freak me out when I look down at the TP. I'm not sure what's going on, I've never had this happen before, so I don't know how worried I should be. I see my doctor on November 19, so I'll talk to him about it then. I've done some research online and this is a symptom of some scary problems, but I'm not going to let myself worry. It's just a fluke, I'll keep telling myself that.
I saw a psychiatrist on Friday and he's going to switch my medication. I've been taking Zoloft for about two years, and Celexa for awhile before that, now he wants me to try Effexor. It's supposed to work well on depression and anxiety and be effective on people who suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder (which my therapist has determined I have thanks to my fucked up father). The PTSD is what has caused me to shut down, numb myself, and not allow myself to have feelings. I hope the Effexor will make me more normal, less self-conscious, and better able to cope in society.
Some people have reported that they've lost weight on Effexor and some say they've gained weight. Please let me be one of the lucky ones! Yeah right, me? Lucky? It never happens!
Watching/Hearing/Listening to: FX - Fear Factor
Drinking: nothing
Wearing: purple shorts, white tank, white socks