She will be loved
Wednesday, Nov. 23, 2005
conversation with Kent
This is a conversation I had with Kent last Tuesday on AIM. The bolded stuff is the interesting stuff, but the rest of it helps to explain why I've been so busy and going out of my mind with stress lately.Shoop: hey Kent. send me an IM if you want to chat. I'm just doing boring work and would welcome a break.
Kent: hi
Kent: how are you? I was just doing some work for school
Kent: studying for my final next week. We have a study guide and I was filling in the answers
Shoop: I'm okay. I'm trying to write instructions for a survey that I've been working on for work non-stop for weeks.
Shoop: it's a relief to have this survey almost done, it's been a huge stressor, and this is one of the last things I have to do on it. yay!
Shoop: how are you?
Kent: I'm ok now
Kent: the past few weeks have been really stressful
Kent: well, last week wasn't too bad, but the weeks before that were stressful
Kent: I have a lot of work for one class in mid december
Kent: and I have a big project starting next week at work
Kent: we have this tool to show how busy we are
Kent: and I'm overbooked starting next week
Shoop: what kind of tool?
Kent: but my manager doesn't seem to think it's a problem
Kent: it's an internal tool
Kent: basically we enter what we're working on
Kent: and how much percentage of time we think it will take in a given week
Kent: so if you add up all your tasks, it says how busy you are
Kent: if you have a full workload it should be 100%
Shoop: I've seen stuff like that
Kent: sometimes a little less, sometimes more
Kent: how's your class going?
Shoop: I thought you might've meant that your school gave some kind of tool to help working adults determine their stress levels or something. Something like that would be handy, because mine has been through the roof.
Kent: we actually did take surveys in my first class
Kent: I think one of them was supposed to show your stress level
Shoop: my class is okay, it's mostly group work, though, and I never feel like I'm contributing enough. I just have to invest all my time into work right now.
Kent: it can be hard to balance work and school
Shoop: my group is doing a presentation and mock research study investigating the causes of violence in the workplace, stress is definitely the big one.
Kent: It seems like I'll be living to work for the next few weeks
Shoop: I can't imagine how you deal with 2 classes
Shoop: I can't handle just this one
Kent: it can be tough
Kent: but I figure that it's probably better to do more now and get the whole thing done with sooner
Shoop: I was thinking about dropping out after this semester, but I'm going to try one online, and see if that's easier to handle
Shoop: class online, I meant
Kent: I don't think my school has any online classes, but if they did I'd like to try it
Kent: although I have a feeling it would be way too easy to get behind in an online class
Kent: at least having a class once a week forces you to go
Kent: you mentioned you were talking to a guy online, are you dating anyone?
Shoop: yeah, I'm not sure how it will be, some people at school recommend them, some don't, but it's worth a try.
Shoop: yeah, I'm dating 2 guys, neither of them are very serious, though.
Kent: well that should be able to take your mind off work a little
Shoop: it helps, but it adds to the stress, too. I feel like I never have time to truly relax. This weekend I took a break and slept pretty much all weekend.
Kent: I know the feeling
Shoop: sometimes you just need time alone to re-energize
Kent: I went to a friend's house on Saturday
Kent: at the time, I didn't really want to go because I felt like just staying in
Shoop: if you heard that boom, it was the girl above me
Kent: but I figured that I should probably go out nad see my friends
Kent: maybe a slight noise
Shoop: yeah, all those obligations can pull at you. how about you, are you dating anyone?
Shoop: it shook my floor (which I noticed because I'm laying on the floor on my laptop)
Kent: I'm talking to a few people, but not really dating anyone right now
Shoop: how about that girl that was over the night I got locked out?
Shoop: she seemed nice
Kent: we were kinda dating, but it didnt' work out.
Shoop: that sucks
Shoop: did you meet her through match?
Kent: it was a weird situation with her, we went out, then were just friends, then were friends with benefits, then friends again, then more than friends, and then things didn't go too well
Kent: yeah, I did
Shoop: sounds complicated
Shoop: that's kinda how I am with the 2 guys, friends with benefits, which is kinda nice, but it makes me feel like I'm using them.
Kent: do either of them know that you're dating the other one?
Shoop: they both know about the other, but it's still weird. I'm not used to balancing multiple relationships.
Kent: are they dating other people too?
Shoop: and they both know that I feel the same about both of them, that there isn't potential for a long-term relationship, or at least I don't see it yet.
Shoop: no, they aren't dating other people
Shoop: but it's just nice to have people to hang out with and I really enjoy their company.
Kent: well as long as they both know the situation
Kent: and you're being safe about everything
Shoop: oh yeah, of course
Shoop: and they both live pretty far away, so I think my chances of getting stalked are limited.
Shoop: knock on wood
Kent: ok, I was talking more about safe sex
Kent: but I guess you should be careful about the stalking thing too
Kent: did you meet them through match.com?
Shoop: I'm careful about all of the above
Shoop: yes, both through match.
Kent: the girl that I was dating used to work at planned parenthood
Kent: so we had a few conversations about safe sex
Shoop: that's got to be a hard job
Shoop: I'm sure she's seen every kind of situation
Kent: she actually didn't talk too much about people that came in
Shoop: I'm more worried about diseases, than pregnancies, but the idea of both are pretty scary
Kent: yeah, the whole disease thing is the thing to be more worried about
Shoop: my scalp was really itchy today, and I got paranoid that I had somehow contracted something
Kent: yeah, the disease thing is scary because you can get things even if you don't have actual sex
Shoop: exactly, that's more the stuff that I'm worried, areas or situations where you don't think to protect yourself
Kent: so what have you done on your dates?
Kent: on the actual dates
Kent: not the bedroom stuff
Kent: although you could share that if you'd like...
Shoop: I was thinking that's what you meant
Shoop: actual dates not too much - restaurants, movies, parking lots, but mostly just hanging out in my apartment.
Shoop: I prefer the just hanging out, it's nice to have someone around to be close with.
Kent: how far away do they live?
Shoop: although I feel a bit slutty, because of the distance, they usually spend the night, so it's hard if I see them both in the same weekend.
Shoop: Lansdowne and Downingtown
Shoop: out west, Delaware County, I think
Kent: how far away are they, timewinse?
Kent: timewise, not that it's an actual work
Kent: word
Shoop: Um, the guy in Lansdowne works in center city, so he usually takes the train from there, but I think it's close to 2 hours by train (he has a car, but doesn't drive it much), and the guy in Downingtown is about 1 and half to two hours away, sometimes more in rush hour because it's the turnpike
Kent: wow, they are pretty far away
Shoop: they've both always been willing to come out here, but I'm going to have to visit their places sometime soon.
Shoop: bachelor pads are kinda scary
Kent: how old are they?
Shoop: although I get the feeling they're both much cleaner than I am
Shoop: 33 and 37
Shoop: I think the 37 yr old is too old for me, because he looks even older than that. That's one of drawbacks in my attraction to him.
Kent: how about the 33 year old?
Shoop: he looks like he's in his late 20's, I don't feel like people think I'm with my father when I'm with him
Shoop: although I probably look older than I think
Shoop: I'm going to be 30 in a few months, that's a scary milestone to pass
Kent: well, it's a good situation if both guys are ok with the situation
Shoop: yeah, they're cool. and if they're not, they'll let me know. I figure it's an ideal situation for most guys, as long as feelings don't get too caught up.
Kent: it sounds like you're the one that has hand in the situation
Kent: if you've seen that Seinfeld episode that would make sense
Shoop: i know, it's pretty cool :-)
Kent: I think I had hand in the past couple of situations but I lost it
Shoop: I know I've seen the episode, but I only remember it vaguely
Shoop: is it a masturbation reference or does it just mean that you have control in the relationship?
Kent: it means you have control, having the upper hand
Shoop: yeah, it's good to have, I figure I won't be on the this side of things too many times, so it's nice while it lasts
Shoop: but the best relationship would be one with equal hand
Kent: yeah, that's true, your current situation probably isn't what you're looking for in the long run
Kent: but when you're really busy that situation isn't bad to have
Shoop: no, not at all
Shoop: that's true, I'd rather have one at a time, though. I'd feel less stress that way, too.
Shoop: it seems like everything revolves around stress these days.
Kent: that's true
Shoop: but that's a positive thing, with the stress, dating two guys helps relieve a lot stress, too
Shoop: i guess it balances out
Shoop: but i'm still waiting for that old knight in shining armor thing, someone that will really pull me in.
Shoop: maybe I'll find someone through match.
Kent: are you still doing match?
Shoop: I check it out occasionally, if someone new winks or emails, but I usually don't search it.
Shoop: and I'm getting pickier
Shoop: i might try another site, but I can't afford more than one at a time
Kent: I'm on match and eharmony
Kent: I signed up for both a while ago
Kent: did the 3 month match thing
Kent: and a 6 month eharmony thing
Kent: it's cheaper to do a longer period of time
Kent: but then if you meet someone you're stuck with the subscription
Shoop: I did the free profile on eharmony, which took forever, and after I put hours into it, it said that it couldn't find any matches
Kent: but you don't know what will happen
Shoop: you'd think they'd at least offer one or two guys to tempt me to sign up.
Shoop: I have 3 months on match, I think it ends in a couple of weeks, I should check that
Shoop: yeah, that's what I should say, sorry I can't commit to you until my subscription is up because I might meet someone, let's discuss this again when it runs out
Shoop: just keeping the options open and all
Kent: well, I should be going to bed
Shoop: i was just typing that
Kent: oh so fun work tomorrow
Kent: have a good night
Shoop: same thing every day
Shoop: you too.
Watching/Hearing/Listening to: Judge Alex
Drinking: diet pepsi lime
Wearing: jeans (very very tight), blue terry cloth tee, white socks, brown loafers