She will be loved
Thursday, Oct. 06, 2005
Help - should I send these?
I've written, but not sent, these two emails in the past week. Tonight, I read them to my therapist and he thought that both of them sounded good, and approved me sending them (his agreeing with the second email especially surprised me). I'm not sure, I need more opinions. The first would be to Kent, the second would be to a guy I had a date with this past weekend (I'll tell the story of the date later, just let me know what you think of the letter without knowing the story, please).Hi Kent,
We haven't talked in quite awhile, so I thought I'd send you an email to see how things are going. How are your classes going? My class has only met twice, but so far, so good. A little overwhelming, but I think I can handle it.
Well, actually the reason I'm writing is because I wanted to let you know that I was very hurt after the afternoon we went shopping. Before that, I felt like we were becoming friends, we were emailing regularly and it felt like we had a lot in common. That's why I didn't mind going out of my way to take you to Ikea, it's the kind of thing I don't mind doing for people I consider friends.
So for you to completely disregard me immediately after that really hurt. I'm sure you're busy and I totally understand that, but it only takes a few minutes to send an email saying hi, how are you. Or even, hey, why did your car disappear for a month. But, instead I got nothing. It just doesn't seem like something someone would do to a friend/neighbor/someone who spent an afternoon doing them a favor.
Now I'm a very sensitive person, and I know I have a tendency to take things more personally than I should, I'm aware of all these things. Maybe your actions weren't intentional, maybe you didn't mean to be hurtful. But you were.
Despite this, I'm still hopeful that there is a chance we can be friends. I'd still like to get to know you better, maybe go out for drinks or something? If that's not something you'd be interested in, if you were only interested in me as a vehicle to get large furniture into your apartment, or if there is something I did or said that day that offended you, tell me. That's all I ask.
Thanks,
Shoop
Hi Matt,
Well, maybe we could hang out at my place and talk some more, if you want. It just seems that there are so many obstacles, like the distance, and I don't see us having too much more in common than our love for our cats (although that is very important! :) ). I just don't know how much potential there is between us.
But I wouldn't mind spending more time getting to know each other. Maybe things would be different in a more relaxed setting. But would you want to waste your time with me if I don't see any long-term potential? To me, it doesn't seem like it would be very fair to you. Although I certainly wouldn't consider it a waste of my time.
If this suggestion is unsettling to you, then we most certainly wouldn't be a match, but we're both adults who are obviously lonely and inexperienced; why not use each other to get a little experience? We are both physically and emotionally needy, and the other could meet those needs. But is it possible to have that without becoming attached?
Let me know what you think. A lot more talking would need to be involved before going further though.
- Shoop
Watching/Hearing/Listening to: Beatles mp3 - here comes the sun
Drinking: diet cherry coke
Wearing: white exercise pants, fuschia Where the Wild Things Are baby tee, gym shoes